Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Sharing: What's Your Love Language?

Picture taken from Google.

It may be late to be blogging at this hour but I guess its better now or never especially when it comes random thoughts or emotions.What I would like to address now is the baby steps in getting to know oneself better, which is, do you know what's your love language? Knowing this little part of yourself may help you understand why you do the things you do or feel.

I got to know about this love languages back in 2012 and I really cannot recall how I stumble upon it. To be honest, when I took the test for the first time in 2012, all I thought was "ok, cool" and soon it faded into the archives of my brain.

The thing that brought this back was the conversation with my friend which somehow revealed to me what a horrible and awful person I am, Irresponsible with my emotions and actions which caused grief or bitterness in people around me, especially the people I love, When I thought I got it all in control or covered, it is things like these that comes knocking down on that ego throne I have made myself comfortable in. I guess it is true that He works in ways we cannot see.

I shan't talk much about the founder of this love languages test but I have attached a link to his profile with his name. Just click on it if you would like to read more about him.

Gary Chapman revealed that there are 5 types of love languages:

  • Quality Time
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Receiving Gifts
The definitions are: 

Freakishly enough, it has been exactly 4 years and 13 days I last took the test. The same month but 4 years later! What are the odds. Hmm. Anyhow, here are my results: 

So here's the summary (actually I did this table so that it is easier for me to summarize, LOL): 

Acts of Service811Acts of Service
Physical Touch85Physical Touch
Quality Time79Quality Time
Words of Affirmation64Words of Affirmation
Receiving Gifts11Receiving Gifts

Based on the table, Acts of Services and Quality Time turns out to be my highest form of receiving love or perceiving love from someone and I had a mini epiphany that may also be my way of showing love to others as well. Yep, an 'Ah' moment happened when I saw the results. 

Let me try to explain. I did receive comments throughout these four years on how I am 'motherly' or I exude that 'motherly' vibe that can be good but also bad if I don't keep it in check. How?  

Good = caring, loving, etc.
Bad = possessive, bossy, etc. 

Being the eldest of 5 children, I guess doing things for people have been wired in my brain since young. Examples: Helping my siblings (indirectly helping my mom) such as helping them to take a bath/helping them get dressed/helping them read or with their homework means = I love my siblings. This could explain why the "Acts of Service" ranks high on my list of love languages as I grow older, wider, and hopefully in maturity as well. So if I offer to do something for you, know that I like you enough and I am glad to be able to help. Please don't mistaken this as an opportunity to ask people of this love language to do things for you when they did not offer to help. HAHA. 

Next on the list is 'Quality Time'. This is quite self-explanatory. As you grow over the years with good and bad experiences that makes you see and decide who and what is important in your life. Prioritizing. Also something that is still quite new to me. Quality time also requires commitment. One example could be, 'keeping to the agreed time' so that you will have more time to spend with one another instead of waiting on each other that may lead or encourage the simmering of contempt if not dealt with healthily. 

Okay, it is best for me to stop typing now before I start spouting utter rubbish or go on some random sharing as my eyelids are starting to feel heavy. Anyway, before I end my post, I would just like to make it clear that I am in no way affiliated with the website. Just sharing it as I found it helpful in understanding myself better and those around me. You can give this love languages test a try at this link: 

Take the test and share your story in the comments below. 
I would love to hear from you. 

Till next post,

Sarah :)